It’s been almost a month since my last blog post. It would be a lie to say I haven’t spent a great deal of time, both in therapy and personally, processing the emotions that came with making that public. It was a precarious and vulnerable post that’s been met with questions by some people who know who I was talking about. Although I don’t think I need to, I will clear a few things up right now.
· He was 19, and I was 15; therefore, he was an adult.
· Yes, I willingly went with him.
· A couple of months before it happened for the first time, he tried to kiss me on an “innocent” ride home and informed me that he would “fuck me” eventually. Most people highly regarded him, and I thought he must have been joking.
· It wasn’t a joke. He took me to his house when he was supposed to take me home one night. I told him I wasn’t ready. I told him I didn’t want to do those things. He told me I wanted it. I needed it. Then it happened. I didn’t fight back.
· For the remainder of that summer, he continued preying on my insecurities as a vulnerable girl with severe self-esteem issues.
· It took me 17 years to understand that I didn’t ask for it, and although I didn’t fight, it still wasn’t okay.
· Much of the way I acted after this and my promiscuity was because I felt I was no longer worthy of being treated with respect.
That’s all I have to say about that. (Que Forrest Gump)
What’s My Niche?
I wanted my next post to be career-focused. Whenever I sat down to write something, it was entirely too personal and not something I felt an audience could relate to or want to read. I needed to hone in (or, as they say in British English, home in) on a niche. One day I decided to change how my blog posts are categorized. There are now just three categories & and I’m going to attempt to tie my posts in each one back to mental health – specifically how these topics affect women’s wellbeing and their ability to be and feel successful in all aspects of life.
Mind, Body, & Soul
Now that all the logistics are out of the way let’s discuss how our bodies, minds, and souls are handling the fucked-up world we’re currently living in. Some reports are saying U.S. COVID deaths have surpassed one million, Putin is continuing to be the piece of shit he is, and innocent Ukrainians are paying the price; a SCOTUS leaked document suggests Roe vs. Wade could be overturned in the coming months, inflation is hitting everyone real hard, etc., etc., etc. Are you depressed yet? If you’re anything like me, topics like these affect you deeply. As if we don’t have enough personal trauma, we feel the hurt of others in our souls. It forces us into a depression. Big emotions are felt profoundly.
If panic attacks are something that you struggle with, you may also understand that sometimes the world is just too much, and you find yourself thinking, is living even worth it. I fall into that trap almost every time I have a panic attack. I won’t commit suicide, but it’d be a lie to say the thought doesn’t stick with me during and after a panic attack.
Somatic Experiencing and EMDR Therapy
Today, I’d like to focus on understanding your body and how it reacts to anxiety, trauma, and PTSD. These are exercises I go through with my therapist, and they’re super helpful.
Side note: if you don’t have a therapist, give Online-Therapy a try. As much as I’d love my blog to be your saving grace, it shouldn’t be. A good therapist makes a world of difference.
Back to previously scheduled exercises. When you begin to panic or feel an uptick in anxiety, this exercise might help.
Do you have a safe place? It can be any place that makes you feel secure and happy. Close your eyes and imagine yourself there. What do you hear? What do you see? Do you feel anything? Maybe the breeze on your skin? With your eyes still closed, cross your arms over your chest with a hand on each shoulder. Tap each shoulder gently and repeatedly. Breathe and continue imagining yourself in your safe place. Continue to experience all the sensations of that location. Do this for a few minutes or until you feel the tension release from your body.
That’s it! It’s that simple. That exercise is a combination of somatic and EMDR therapy. One short session isn’t going to wipe away all the pain and trauma you feel, but it gets you through the moment and assists in handling those big emotions. There are lots of ways to practice these therapies both together and separately. Let me repeat myself: find a therapist who can help you! Find a therapist who can devote 60-90 minutes to going through these practices with you. The difference you’ll feel mentally is worth it.
Park Prescriptions & Band-Aids
Have you heard about the growing trend of “park prescriptions”? They aren’t new but are increasing in popularity. In these programs, doctors encourage patients of all ages to spend more time outside to improve their mental and physical health. I 100% agree that activity is good for mental health, and nature is one of my favorite places to escape. I posted about it a couple of months ago. You can read that post here. Now for my opinion, because I have an opinion about most things. I think exercise is a band-aid. It helps you feel good and handle anxiety healthily, but the reasons you have anxiety and your avoidance of healing will catch up to you eventually.
As strong independent women, we like to believe we don’t need additional help. We handle careers, households, children, pets, and a thousand other things all on our own, so we should be able to handle a little anxiety on our own as well. I’m here to tell you that it’s okay to ask for and receive help. Going to therapy doesn’t make you weak (that goes for men also). Asking your partner to help out a little more doesn’t make you incapable. Canceling plans with a friend to give yourself some time to decompress doesn’t make you unreliable. If anything, I believe doing those things makes you stronger and sets an example of how to take care of your whole self.
Next Steps
Take a step toward better self-care today. Read my Panic Attack Plan, go for a walk in nature, and ask for help. I will repeat this statement forever: get into therapy! Therapy works, and it’s worth the investment.
Please shoot me an email or message to let me know what topics you’d like to read about from a mental health lens. This blog isn’t just about me. It’s about every person who reads it. I want the posts to be relatable and helpful.
For updates on my home renovations, melanoma awareness, and my running journey, be sure to follow me on the gram!
Until next time my loves.
Here’s a reel for you just because it’s relatable. Oh also, read my privacy policy and disclosures!
