Strive to Be Better – Not your Best

“Striving to be the best is a mistake. It creates an illusion of an endpoint – and a delusion that you can only succeed by beating others.” Adam Grant

How often have you heard someone say, “you should always strive to be your best”? I have heard that statement too many times to count in my life. My completely unqualified opinion is this statement contributed to how much I compare myself to others. How dumb is that? Let me answer – so fucking dumb. But here I am, continuing to compare my accomplishments, earnings, lifestyle, intelligence, and body to others and telling myself that I am not yet my best. However, I’m better than last week, last month, last year, and 1000 times better than I was 10 years ago.

This isn’t a long blog post because I want to challenge you to be better rather than being your best. I want to challenge you to shift your focus from winning or being victorious to mastering your craft. I want to challenge you to compete with your past self and raise the bar for your future self. Here are some examples of how to do this in different aspects of life that might surprise you:

• Body image: 10 years ago, my goal was to be skinny with no focus on health. I am not as thin as I was at 22 years old, but my relationship with food is much healthier than ever. I don’t restrict, I don’t binge, and I’m learning to love the curves that come with eating and age.
• Career: Two years ago, I thought I would forever be stuck in a position that pushed my mental health limits. Today, I am an administrator and work primarily from home in a city close to my nephews, whom I adore. I’m also beginning the journey of becoming financially independent from a 9-5 by running a digital marketing business, starting this blog, and exploring more aggressive investment options.
• Earnings: I got my first full-time job in higher education a little over 11 years ago with a salary of $32,000. When I relocated to Dallas, I had to accept an even smaller compensation to get a job. I will not tell the entire world my current salary now. Still, I will tell you that I’ve come a long way from $32,000 and learned so much about money management, investing (holla Tori Dunlap), saving, and responsible spending.
• Intelligence: In December 2018, I earned a Ph.D. from the University of Texas at Dallas. You’d think I accomplished the ultimate smart person goal. Fast forward to today, I know how to apply things I learned in that degree and am a way better critical thinker than ever before!

I think you get the idea. My challenge is to list at least three areas where you constantly strive to be your best and reflect on where you are vs. where you’ve been. It might not be your best, and you probably can do more, but chances are you’re doing better, and that’s a big fucking deal! Also, remember that making more money and having more education doesn’t necessarily equal doing better. If those accomplishments come at the cost of time with people you love, your health, and your sanity, ask yourself if it’s worth it.